Nature as Therapy: Overcoming PTSD in the Wilderness
BLUF: Amidst nature's expanse, I found an unexpected sanctuary. The wilderness whispered healing into my soul, offering hope in my journey with PTSD.
At 21 I was not prepared for what the looming future held.
I had spent my entire life up until now dreaming of adventures and in general “weirdness” I would get into. Backpacking, skydiving, sailing… there was not a horizon I did not want to conquer.
Then “IT” happened.
The loss of my family plunged me into a decades-long battle with PTSD. Not only had I lost my loved ones, but I lost a dream. I was grieving for my family, and grieving for the I had dreamed of. I know that can sound selfish, but I was simply not prepared to be in a world without them.
I will never forget those few days spent at the hospital, watching them all slip away. The nurses and doctors, even the flight crew, were relentless in caring not just for them but for me. The pain they felt on my behalf was palpable, they grieved beside me.
I never forgot them, and they shaped the next chapter of my life.
I became a critical care paramedic and firefighter, seeking solace in relentless busyness and service to others, all while wrestling with PTSD's persistent shadows.
As a first responder (a path walked by 30% of us bearing trauma's scars) I witnessed profound pain and loss. Yet, it is in the solitude of nature that I find healing. Research shows that even two hours weekly in nature can significantly uplift mental and physical health.
When restlessness stirs deep within my soul, I know the mountains are calling. I know the drive like I know my own scars. It’s two hours to the first rolling hills, another hour until I see my mountain peaks, and then a final hour until I can step my feet on her earthen trail.
The four-hour journey from the low country's plains to the peaks is transformative. With each step deeper into the wilderness, the world's noise softens, and my thoughts calm.
Nature's rhythmic patterns - rustling leaves, flowing streams, birdsong at dawn - soothes my frayed nerves. Each step on the earthy paths distance me from inner chaos, aligning my breath with the tranquility around me.
Beneath ancient trees, I face the ghosts of my past. This solitary journey, though marked by loneliness and overwhelming silence, brings clarity. Nature doesn’t erase my PTSD but grants the strength to accept it as part of my narrative.
In the wilderness, my inner thoughts, echoes of doubts and regrets, become my greatest adversary. On the trails, I battle these thoughts, drawing strength from nature's grounding embrace.
In the cadence of my footsteps, I connect with the past. These trails, once walked by our ancestors, resonate with their presence. Grounding myself in the moment, I become part of a continuum, feeling the echoes of those who walked before me.
Embracing meditation and breathwork in the midst of nature's symphony, I find mindfulness to be a potent healing tool. Nature-based therapy (NBT) supports my journey, enhancing sensory awareness and connection to the larger world.
My experiences in the wilderness teaches me that while PTSD is part of my life, it doesn't define me. I share this story as a beacon of hope. Nature, not a panacea, offers a space where healing can begin.
The wilderness, my therapist, teacher, and guide, demonstrates that even in deep pain, peace and healing are attainable.
In my continuous journey with PTSD, each step in the wilderness is a testament to the lessons learned and the strength gained, showing that in pain's depths, a path to peace and recovery awaits.
